Friday, October 1, 2010

31 for T21 - Day 2 - A Year Ago Today

I can not believe how quickly time pasts. Has it really been a year since I got that phone call? The phone call that gave me the results of my amnio.

For starters, why on earth would a doctor call you at work with that type of news I have no idea. She is lucky that I liked her, and was willing to accept that from her. But yes, on October 2, 2009 I received a phone call at work with the results from my amnio. I went into a conference room and closed the door. Whats funny, is that I already knew what that doctor was about to tell me before she said it. Six weeks prior to this day, the first time "down syndrome" came into our vocabulary, I knew. I could feel something different early on. So I already knew what she was going to say, as the words came out of her mouth. "The results have been confirmed, you are having a girl and she does have trisomy 21."

I left work for the day and called my husband, my mother...crying the entire time. I am surprised they were able to understand a word I was saying. Driving at that time was probably not the best decision, but having a crying fit in the office probably wasn't a good decision either. I left work and drove home, questioning, all the things I thought this child would not do.

Then something took over me...its like a wave of calm came over me. I was still crying, but no longer hysterically crying. I pulled into the parking lot of our local shopping center. And I told myself. The doctor said its a GIRL. We are going to finally have a baby girl. And I switched my focus of the news that was handed to me that day. I stopped thinking (for a quick moment) that this darling baby I was carrying would have Down Syndrome, but instead I focused that I was finally having my BABY GIRL! I walked into the Carter's store, and picked out Grace's first dress. I was still crying, and had mascara streaked across my fast, and I checked out of the store with two dresses for my baby Grace.

Those two dresses hung on the door knob in my bedroom for several weeks after I was told my daughters diagnosis. It was my own type of "retail therapy." Every time the thought of sadness would come along and I would start to think about what I would be missing with my daughter having Down Syndrome, I took a look at the little brown dress with pink flowers hanging on my door knob, and would think...who cares....I am finally getting my BABY GIRL!


3 comments:

  1. This is EXACTLY what helped me- we had 7 boys and 2 girls and I wanted another girl so much. I bought several girl outfits as well, and I kept telling myself- we will still be able to dress her pretty even if she ends up having Down syndrome. So funny the thoughts that go through your mind before you have your baby and realize how normal she is:)

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  2. Beautiful post. And a perfect way for you to keep things in perspective when trying to keep it all together. You have a beautiful baby girl.

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  3. She is really pretty indeed! Thanks for sharing these tender thoughts

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