31 for T21 - Day 2 - A Year Ago Today

I can not believe how quickly time pasts. Has it really been a year since I got that phone call? The phone call that gave me the results of my amnio.

For starters, why on earth would a doctor call you at work with that type of news I have no idea. She is lucky that I liked her, and was willing to accept that from her. But yes, on October 2, 2009 I received a phone call at work with the results from my amnio. I went into a conference room and closed the door. Whats funny, is that I already knew what that doctor was about to tell me before she said it. Six weeks prior to this day, the first time "down syndrome" came into our vocabulary, I knew. I could feel something different early on. So I already knew what she was going to say, as the words came out of her mouth. "The results have been confirmed, you are having a girl and she does have trisomy 21."

I left work for the day and called my husband, my mother...crying the entire time. I am surprised they were able to understand a word I was saying. Driving at that time was probably not the best decision, but having a crying fit in the office probably wasn't a good decision either. I left work and drove home, questioning, all the things I thought this child would not do.

Then something took over me...its like a wave of calm came over me. I was still crying, but no longer hysterically crying. I pulled into the parking lot of our local shopping center. And I told myself. The doctor said its a GIRL. We are going to finally have a baby girl. And I switched my focus of the news that was handed to me that day. I stopped thinking (for a quick moment) that this darling baby I was carrying would have Down Syndrome, but instead I focused that I was finally having my BABY GIRL! I walked into the Carter's store, and picked out Grace's first dress. I was still crying, and had mascara streaked across my fast, and I checked out of the store with two dresses for my baby Grace.

Those two dresses hung on the door knob in my bedroom for several weeks after I was told my daughters diagnosis. It was my own type of "retail therapy." Every time the thought of sadness would come along and I would start to think about what I would be missing with my daughter having Down Syndrome, I took a look at the little brown dress with pink flowers hanging on my door knob, and would think...who cares....I am finally getting my BABY GIRL!