Saturday, August 14, 2010

Living in Denial

Did you ever go through a phase where you felt like you were living in denial?
Well, I think the reality of this phase hit me today.

Today Grace finally, had her baptism. Well as I got her dressed and snapped all these cute pictures of her..common on...face it...she's got that cuteness. Well as we are at the church and I see 3 other kids her age that are being baptized as well...reality sets in...Grace is different from these other kids. Other than Grace being a fat plump compared to these other kids, I notice other difference. She is not holding her body frame up as well. Her eyes are shaped a little different. Her nose is a little flatter than the others. Something about that smile, beautiful, but different. What am I seeing? Am I really seeing Down Syndrome for the first time? Or is it that I am around other kids her age that DO NOT have Down Syndrome and I notice it even more. And as much as I love every inch of this baby girl I look at her and think, does everyone else see... what I see? So just as I thought I had permanently closed the flood gates, I shed some tears tonight for my baby girl. Not because I love her any less, but because I see the difference. And if I see the difference, that means everyone else sees the difference, and unfortunately everyone else won't have this strong love for her that I have.

Despite mommy's moment of sadness on the day, Grace still managed to be the Princess that she is.

My Beautiful Down Syndrome Princess!

Grace, her mommy and daddy, and godparents (Nanny and Parean)


  1. You are not alone in that moment! I have had a few myself. You describe it so perfectly! Its not that we don't love our princesses and everything about them, but knowing that others may not share that same love is a bit overwhelming at times.
    Beautiful blog Felicia!

  2. I hear you. Right with you. And Grace is a cutie-patoo-tie!

  3. That moment does hurt.....I for SURE have been there! Your daughter is BEAUTIFUL, her eyes are captivating!